Featured

Labels aren’t always bad!

I understand why people don’t like labels , i really do! I understand how frustrating it is to be put in boxes!

But labels were very essential in my path , they were very essential for me to understand what was happening around me and inside of me

Growing up with Arabic as my first language made me feel so lonely in most of my feeling, mental illness, feminism and abuse. most of these terms don’t have easy words in Arabic

Specially for the word abuse and abusive which really helped me identify it, therefore helped me separate and get out of a very damaging abusive relationships.

Feminism  and women’s rights are talked about very sarcastically here, i’ve always felt that it wasn’t fair growing up as a woman in this society but without names and labels all f that was normal. it didn’t have a name that shock your emotions in disgust, that would help people understand the struggle women go through in this society

As for mental illness most of the terms are translated into 2 words that are mostly in Fusha which is a language that isn’t spoken by the public, so most of the time i felt isolated with my struggles, and when you can’t find words to describe what is happening , it’s really difficult for people to sympathize and even sometimes understand what was going on, foe me understanding Anxiety was a huge step! i finally have found a choice, now that i can say it , i can see it and i can learn how to deal with it! and of course it made it easier for me to find communities that feel the same feelings, that share the struggle

Labels and names aren’t always bad, they are only bad when they become adjectives instead of nouns, when they become categories for human beings, but for most identifying feelings helps through the process of healing, maturing, and adapting

Advertisements
Featured

You can never imagine how damaging domestic violence is, even after years of ending it….

it’s been a bit less than 4 years since i left my ex-husband

i have always read about domestic violence and having experienced it myself growing up then further with my Ex-husband, i found it very hard to identify with most of the things i watched or read about domestic violence.

looking back now and it’s been 4 years and i still can’t forget it for one day, and i never thought it would take that long to heal, but i found out that its not the pain i remember now.

I really did healed, it doesn’t effect me anymore to talk or to remember things, but it comes up in mind everyday but not in the way you think,

but everyday, every single day i use my laptop or any of my self-bought possessions i remember him.

i watch domestic violence all the time on TV, i watch women get beaten, and i see how the portrait abusers and victims, but that’s not even 1% of what it actually is.

when i remember my Ex i don’t remember the hitting or the beating, but i remember when he used to take my phone or laptop because i misbehaved in a way he didn’t like, every time i go out and meet people, i remember the embarrassment and the shame i had because my husband confiscated my phone from me.

a full grown mother didn’t have a saying in Anything.

the beatings don’t occur that much by the way, it’s the psychological pain and the very systematic energy draining talent they have.

and the fact that still a lot of people think about the one very stupid question ” why didn’t you leave him earlier?” or ask the women that are still in these relationships ” why don’t you just leave him?”

I wish i could really ask those people, do you really think we don’t want to leave them? of course we do!

but as a single poor mother every now and then i still get these feeling of why can’t i just go back to him and get the very uncomfortable stability my Ex offered.

now after all these years that i solely dedicated to healing and picking up myself i still remember these days.

i remember them now full of gratitude that i’m not there anymore. every time i buy something i remember when he refused to give me money in my hands, but he always got me what i want.

every time i do something new i remember where i was and where i am now, with all the struggles us women have to go through, i’m grateful where i am now

Featured

The Egyptian Millennials!

In the recent years in Egypt, there has been a lot of dramatic resentments from the Egyptian millennials to the culture and the society.

The old generations’ always use the argument “they are just immature young adults who don’t really know what the future will bring or know anything about wisdom” – as they claim –

but once you get deep with the young generation and the millennials and talk to them and get to really know them, you start to get a whole different prospective.

Yes it seems that it’s really a battle between 2 generations all over the globe but in Egypt as usual you see it manifested in a society that already favors experience over hard work and old authentic ideas over innovative and different new ideas, and wouldn’t even give it a chance!

so if we look at technology for instance, the majority of the old generation born in the 70s and older, they don’t seem to grasp the ideas of technology as much as their peers of the same age in other countries. and Egyptians could actually recall when the camera phones started here in the middle east and Egypt, they were the first to think that it will be used only in harm! that some families actually used to ban their daughters from buying and using one.

The art community in Egypt is not considered small, yes it’s not available and easy to get outside of Cairo and Alexandria, but you always find people from all over the cities across Egypt, landing in Cairo looking for a chance to do it.

Musicians, Artists, Screen Writers, And even brilliant YouTubers, they are all here and Alive!

It’s not an exaggeration when if you call them warriors, but this society is brilliant in completely disregarding individualism and is also brilliant in Inventing ways to shatter any dreams, for instants, the majority of people go to the university just to have the degree the society really loves, and they mostly go back to pursue what they longed doing.

and because the millennials on the globe are really struggling with a financial crisis, here it’s very obvious to notice, and as is it goes to the whole world, financial independency is pretty hard for the ones who want to do it fully.

and with financial dependency on Parents here in Egypt, Cultural expectations are put as a burden on most of them.

the culture really harasses anything that is different! Dreads, Long hair for men and short for women, even beards and curly hair! anything that is different – outside the frames they put – gets terrorized Daily sometimes even in brutal ways, and whats not very surprising that it mostly comes from that old generation that is Ending the world globally now!

but the warriors here are just fighting everyday, some fight verbal to physical abuse at home and most struggle outside in their day-to-day life. which is  really draining at the end of the day, and explains why a lot just give in to the cycle the society shaped for all of us

if we look at the end result, is that most of these people don’t get anywhere, because of a lot of reasons, Egypt financially and emotionally and mentally really kills. and it gets really hard for them to get any appreciation or any credit for what they do when their peers in other countries would get recognition and help to nurture their outstanding talent, a big portion of the millennials stay locale in a society that is already sucked in poverty and ignorance.

for Example:

Nour Tarek a brilliant new artist that i just saw her last video dancing to techno in a beautifully made video

Menna El-Baz a very smart young Youtuber that shares her opinions with the world

and my favorite Ahmed el- Fadaly that left his Egyptian university in a wild crazy trip around europe to become an entrepreneur

These Examples, These people are intelligent and creative and artistic and critical

Facebook in Egypt is playing a crucial rule as an outlet for Egyptian millennials and if you have a good circle of friends you can get a hint of how artistic and diverse it is here, you will find Rappers Like Mohmoud Tarek and many more that just blow my mind of how innovative the culture that this generation is trying to creat.

I believe that the only hope for this country and around the world will be giving the young generation the chance to own their lives and start choosing their own roads. and as for the Egyptian millennials that are fighting everyday with the culture and the traditions, just keep trying 😉Millennials

Featured

How to help your kid love being healthy?

  • You eat healthier

Kids learn by imitation, and being a good role model for your children is what parenting mostly is.

So you as an adult you  need to find the right way to love and adapt to a healthy diet and life style before you ask you kids to commit to it

  • Balance:

Being healthy isn’t about losing weight or torturing yourself from the enjoyment of tasty food, not to mention we can’t deny the fact that unhealthy food is in fact addictive and it tricks your brain into thinking that it is worth it.

So balance actually comes when you understand all of the factors that contribute in our appetite process and it will work as a forgiving understanding to how we will always slip and just eat that so unhealthy delicious mouthwatering food! And that it is OK!

  • Educate yourself

Try to learn more about the brain and how it works.

Such awareness offers a great insight to oneself and how to deal with your body and your brain. And learn about the ways you can train your brain to change your habits

  • Associate healthy with feeling good

Your brain doesn’t understand anything better than feeling good, and it’s like any addiction when your brain associate that certain behavior or drug to feeling good, which puts the body in cravings, longing to feel that feel good rush of hormones again, for example when you eat carrots or avocados or something you normally don’t like, tell yourself and your child that it’s vitamins and its feel good vitamins and let your body enjoy eating

  • Adapt!

For me, adaptation is one of the most important evolution traits in mankind, so if you don’t like the taste of something very healthy, adapt! Try to find other ways to cook, grill or just a simple different salad could be enough to get you to like this not so tasty food.

أنا نزلت الوراق 1!!!

االوراق ,هو مش القصد منها الوراق بس, بس للاسف بعد اللى اكتشفته ان هى دى مصر اللى احنا مغميين عنينا عنها.

قبل منزل الوراق, كنت محاوطه نفسى بمجموعة ناس معينة نقيتهم وكمان فى مناطق معينة. مش علشان انا كنت اقصد اعمل كده, بس اللى اكتشفته انى كنت بعيدة علشان المجتمع ده اوالمنطقة كلها عاملة حاجز او زى سور نفسي واوقات كتيرة كمان جسدى فى انهم ميقربوش لأى حاجة مختلفة عنهم. وبالتالى كل اللى براه مش فاهمينه اوى أو مش مختلطين بيه.

فالأول كان الموضوع مختلف وهنزل اشوف وافهم الناس دى اوالمجتمع ده بيفكر ازاى. وبما انى نسوية ومتفألة اعتقدت كالعادة انى ممكن افرق, او اغير حتى ولو 1% من افكار شخص واحد بس وده كان هيبقى انتصارى الشخصى اللى دايما بكتفى بيه.

الموضوع مخدتش وقت كتير على مخدت بالى ان الناس دى بتعمل كل حاجة بنظام كده مبيتغيرش كتير وبتقعد تعمله لحد متموت.

أولها القهواوى اللى عليها رجالةمن جميع الاعمار, مفيش اى حاجة فى حياتهم غير الضحك والقهقهة وفى آخر اليوم يضربوا المخدر اللى بياخده سواء محدرات حقيقية او ادمان دين. وبعد كده يروحوا لستتاتهم اللى 3/4 منهم بيتضرب وبيتهزق وكمان مش من حقه انه يشتكى.

قعداتهم رجولية بحت وانا دخلت بالعافية وكنت البنت الوحيدة وشفت بعينى ان الكلام لا يفيدبالمرة. والقعدة كلها بتبقى كالأتى:

  • شفت انا عملت ايه؟
  • ايه يا عم الفاهم فى كل حاجة !
  • هاهاهاهاهاهاهاهاهاهاه —– القعدة كلها تستلمه تريقة 15 دقيقة. وبعد الفقرة دى
  • انا عملت كذا كذا فالشغل وطلعان عين امى وابويا واختى واخويا فى كل الأوقات
  • والله يا عم محنا قلنالك وانتا مبستمعش الكلام , اعمل 1و2و3
  • ايه يا عم الفلحوص ده!!! الحق يا عم الاهبل ده
  • هاهاهاهاهاهاهاهاههاهاهاه- يستلموه كمان 30 دقيقة

طبعا مع فروق انواع الشتيمة… بس عامة القعدة كلها مافيهاش اى شىء ليه اى لازمة او حتى معلومة جديدة!

وبتنتهى بقصص اشخاص تانية و3/4 من القصص دى فعلا تخض! ومش عارفة مين مرحش فرح مين وده مخاصم مين ومين كان ارجل واحد فالكون وضرب مش عارفة كام واحد!

حتى لو افترضنا ان القعدة دى عادى يعنى واكيد ليها اهمية فى اى حاجة للوجود.

للاسف اجابتى 0.. غير ان تفتكر ان الناس دى بتقضى تقريبا 70% من وقتهم مع بعض ا فعلا عارفين بعض وحتى بيقفوا جنب بعض.

للاسف الأجابة تانى لأ.. طبعا معظمهم مش كلهم مستنيين اللى جنبهم يقع بس علشان يعرف يقول انا احسن اهوه يا ماما – ماما هى حبيبة الرجالة هنا , ومع الأحترام الكامل لكل الأمهات طبعاً- بس للأسف كلهم عندهم عدم رضى مش طبيعى عن وضعهم وفى نفس الوقت ماشيين   على نهج الجيل القديم بكل قراراته الخطأ وبيتمنوا لبعض الأسوء علشان يبقى شكلهم فالمجتمع اللى حواليهم معقول أو مقبول.

بغض النظر عن القعدات , بس لماحد بيقع فيهم فى مشكلة, زى أدمان او سجن أو حتى مشاكل عاطبفة وأسرية مبتلاقيهوش لاجئ للناس دى!  بالعكس هما بيهربوا من بعض علشان فلان مينفعش يشوفه كده أو كده. وده فعلا بيأذيهم هما اول ناس, عزل الناس اللى محتاجة مساعدة .وعدم الكلام بيأدى غالبا لنتيجة أسوء

90% منهم بيوتهم مدمرة تماما. هو ميفرقوش كتير عن المستويات المختلفة فى مصر, بس فى فرق واحد اللى أخدت بالى منه منتشر بشكل اكتر هناك, انهم فعلا جعانين فلوس. للاسف مافيش اى حاجة عايونها او بيطلبوها اكتر من الفلوس والجنس

جوع الفلوس ده ناتج علن عدم الأستقرار المادى اللى البلد بتحطنا فيه. بمعني ان علشان مصر فعلا كل شوية تروح بلياك بمصيبة, وبالنسبة للطبقة دى الموضوع اضعاف اضعاف, لأن اصلا مافيش وعى ولا صحى ولا عقلى ولا نفسي عن أى حاجة فده مبيحسنش طبعا حالتهم بل بالعكس بيزود عدد البلاوى اللى بتنزل عليهم

 

يتبع…..

 

Mothering in Egypt….

Aren't you angry yet?

Motherhood is already as hard as it is, but in Egypt it’s a completely different crisis.

Having had my son in the states and living almost his first 2 years there, I had to run to Egypt looking  for a safe place from my abusive husband

Fighting t abusive relationships in America is hard, but the system as I experienced had helped me a lot and I also saw a room for improvements which gave me comfort and a sense of security

But having to do that had affected my mothering skills tremendously

Not only is it harder to mother here –Egypt-  but also impossible to make it stable.

For this whole young generation in Egypt, that is already struggling financially.

It’s is even worse to be a parent not to mention a mother

Asking people for money is becoming more acceptable in this poor society and it’s the only…

View original post 489 more words